My wife is at it again with her camera and Photoshop. So whoever comes up with the best caption below wins a copy of The Truth Prints (my best A to Z blueprint for internet marketing, intended to provide a foundation and compliment the Hyper Responsive Marketing Club for anyone still struggling to make their first significantly profitable website) — OR — one month free in the hyper-responsive club — OR — a 12 minute personal consultation with yours truly by telephone or skype (and 3 minutes for me to read your issue beforehand).
Extra points for internet marketing relevant captions, but the winner doesn’t necessarily have to be about marketing.
OK, go to it!
Leave your entries in the comments below. Winner chosen solely by my personal judgment. No purchase necessary to win, void where prohibited, coffee is hot, don’t spill hydrochloric acid on your privates, Mama knows best, yadayadayada.
Post as many captions as you like, but only ONE comment per person please (so my filters don’t flag as spam)
Winner will be selected on Friday 4/23/10 by end of business.
G 
{ 182 comments… read them below or add one }
This is not what I expected to find when I Googled flowering dogwood picture…
If she finds me, she’ll make me do silly internet marketing pictures!
LOL…This one’s easy…..
“FLOWER POOCHER”
How much is that doggy in the window?
Dog escapes Sharon’s Market reseach by hiding in flowers
If I look like a flower, maybe no-one will notice me.
I hate getting my nails clipped… maybe she won’t find me here.
Dog Teaches Internet Marketers: “Here’s How to Smell Your Customers.”
How much is that tulip in the window?
Look, it’s the very rare french puppy plant in full bloom!
Man, the flower niche is for the dogs!
Find Fido: The hyper-responsive customer.
Is the Dog Catcher gone yet?
If you’re not capitalizing on your unique qualities you blend in with everyone else.
Roses grow on you dawg!
Or, “Man, this flower niche is for the dogs!”
Psst! Monsieur! Non, non; back row, second from the right.
I’m ze one to take home to her; ze only one who’ll keep her feet warm at night.
Camouflaged within the lush floral landscape, the fierce and stealthy predator prepares to strike…the next Parisian holding a baguette too loosely will never know what hit them.
The sweetness of the fragrance of flowers
and the sincerity of a best friend
creates the perfect internet relationship
“Pepe Le Pew’s” distant cousin: “Puppy Le Fleurs”!
Still Searching for Spot?
Quick & Safe Return of Lost Pets
Affordable Fee for Service Only
http://www.Where-On-Earth-is-Spot.com
Discover where flora and your imagination meet
You can’t just blend in and expect your internet marketing to work, you have to stand out from the crowd.
Still Searching for Spot?
Quick & Safe Return of Lost Pets
Affordable Fee for Service Only
Where-On-Earth-is-Spot.com
I think this one is better!
Amazing, new Plant-A-Pet Pot eliminates annoying pet odors in seconds and turns your home into a glorious display of floral colors. Comes in rose, tulip and iris scents.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your wife, Glenn. What’s wrong with you?!?
[Even if I don't win I just know I'll get brownie points with Sharon...]
Hush Puppy!
“Why ‘how much is that doggy in the window?’ is the wrong question.”
or
“How to grow your dog, naturally”
Flower Pot Eats Dog.
How much is that doggy flower in the window?
“Am I in the right place…?”
(hat tip to Steve Krug, “Don’t Make me think”, about website useability, and what every website visitor is *really* thinking when they’re on your site…)
expérience floral allé aux chiens
Could you photoshop me in a butcher\’s next time please?
Internet Marketer Discovers New Dog/Flower Hybrid!
“Flower Arrangement Simple Enough For Dawgs”
Puptunia
Help! The scent of onion and garlic is getting at me!
“Are you a pedal pusher or a puppy peddler?
Keep the main thing the main thing.”
Head Shots
Hi,
The appropriate caption for this photo taken in Paris is: ” Chien Fleurs” which translated from French to English is “Dog Flowers”
Regards,
Tim
“Some shops will do anything to hook in the customers.”
Fleurs Doggy Day Spa: “Dogs so clean, they’ll smell like flowers!”
“Window Of Discoveries”
Maybe this is not the best way to sell a dog!
Sales are slow today. Time for the old \"cutie-pie in the window\" trick. It always pulls in the business…
Paris-chienne.
“How about a check up from the neck up?”
She’s Cremated By Fleur’s Flowers ‘n Frequently Feels Fresh Flowers Fertilized (sniff, sniff).
Sharon\’s favorite picture of her doggie doing dodo.
Fresh Roses Get Me In There!
when she said we were going to pick up some Cattails, I didn’t know this is what she meant…rrrgggg
Dogs! Now They’re A Woman’s Best Friend Too
Puppy training program: “Like a flower, no mess and good smell”
“It worked for E.T.”
Here is another one. “I didn’t know that dogwood flowers came in black and white”.
Thanks Glenn & Sharon for the smiles.
Teresa
I’ll hang out here and come out smelling like a rose!
I’m Happy Here
The dogwood sure has bloomed early this year . . .
The problem with the French is they don’t have a word for entrepren(fl)eur
or
Lassie faire!
Phideaux & fleurs – guaranteed to placate her
OR
I was searching for a hydrant, not hydrangeas, Make sure your search returns the right results.
‘Sssh, be vewy vewy still’
“Sanctuary!!”
“Maybe if I sit still long enough, maybe they won’t notice the puddle!”
Lisa~
My entry for the caption is:
“Fluffy’s life-long dream of becoming a sniper hits it\\\’s first challenge when he fails camouflage 101″
Hi Glenn,
Here’s my twopence worth..
- “If Only, internet marketing was a as lovely as this..”
- “Internet marketing is like flowers, it starts with a single seed, and blossoms!”
- “Internet marketing is hard! Thank god I’m a cute dog in a flower shop!”
- “Internet marketing is a dog’s life, when I grow up, I’m going to be a flower”
- “If you were a flower and internet Guru’s were dogs, would you be asking yourself.. ..why do cute dogs always pee on us?”
- “If your pack is lacking energy, maybe your in the wrong pack”
Flowers will love you for at most, a week, a dog will be your best friend for life. Your business can be a flower or a dog,which one will make more profits?
“Excuse me… a little privacy please”
French Research Gardeners announced today that they have successfully bred the first Dog-headed Tulip.
My uncle thought taxidermy was his true calling, but I told him he should stick to the fresh flowers.
Fleurs: Free Decapitated Head of Dog with Purchase.
Puppy Love Gone Too Far…
With no trees on busy city sidewalks to do his doggie business on Rover opts for the next best thing. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
- Barking Up The Wrong Tree With New Browser Window
- Lack Of Negative Keywords Brings Unwanted Traffic
- Doggoned, Undesired Impressions
- Local Flower Shop Watches Their CTR Bloom With The Addition Of Long Tails
- Popular Industry Gets a ‘Leg Up’ On The Competition By Offering Self-Fertilizing Flowers
- Botanical Dogma
- Spade Or Spayed?
- I-Pee Address
Unique Flowers & Gifts?
New Viral Puppy Strand…Must See!
Free Sample, Plus Get Free Shipping.
http://www.ViralPuppy.com
The real beauty of flowers? They’re much lower maintenance than you think.
“Hi, I’m looking for something that thrives in low light, likes cool temperatures, and poops twice a day. Do you have anything in season?”
“She’ll never find me now cuz..I’m a beautiful, smelly, whatever these things are!”
“To Pee Or Not To Pee, That Is The Question”
Flowers and pups are an international language.
Learn to make the internet your international language, see PapPerClickSearchMarketing.com.
“Never doubt your significance – without me this would just be another boring picture of flowers.”
time to test out my disguise kit, wonder if it’s working?
now I’ll get that pesky mailman, come on, just smell these flowers
eat your heart out benji
feel my ninja stealth skills!
maybe I should have bought the military face paint too
say whatever you want, I’m still cuter than these flowers
Ha, Glenn. My market surveys tell me this is the best place to win hide and
seek against you.
This is the perfect place to pick up chicks, they smell the flowers, then
they see me.. They smell the flowers, then they see me…
This is the best Halloween costume ever!
I hope Glenn doesn’t find that “present” I made today.
Hint! Hint! Glenn, it’s Valentines Day! Get flowers ASAP!
I wonder if anyone else thinks it’s strange that I grew out of this pot?
Oy, I really wish they hadn’t tried to splice my genes with these plants.
Uh… The ground hog was busy… He sent me instead.
Quick! I’ve been hiding here for hours! Pick me up and take me home before
the animal control guy comes back.
I thought these red flowers were Sharon Livingston… They aren’t… And I’m
stuck.
Yes, Glenn, I am stalking you… It’s more difficult than you think without
opposable thumbs.
I wonder if Glenn’s survey can pick out the hyper-responsive buyer of dog
bones in this bunch.
Don’t bring internet marketing flowers to a internet marketing dog fight.
If you can figure out how to be the dog in this picture in your niche, then
you’ll know everything you need to know about internet marketing.
In a room full of flowery internet marketers, you want to be the dog.
Most marketers just smell good, but the great ones have bite.
Sometimes you have to blend in, and stand out at the same time to win at the
Internet marketing game.
In the sea of sameness, uniqueness wins everytime.
How one marketing survey can make you the dog in a room full of flowers.
Haha, I must protect the Nav’i! …. Maybe I’ve watched too much Avatar
today…
God I hate flowers, I wish she’d get a move on and take that darned picture!
Hi there, dog rules!
How Much Is The Dogdrangea In The Window?
Glen better be buying me ALL this including the new puppy and have it waiting for me when I get home for his BIG screw-up this time!
Self-Fertilizing Flower Pot
If you’re not completely THRILLED with your Self-Fertilizing Flower Pot, send it back within 30 days and I’ll refund your money, no questions asked.
Any fertilizer produced is yours to keep FREE, just for trying us out.
“Come and Sniff Me I Dare You!”
Attention Men!!! Have you REALLY screwed up??? Take home a cute dog AND some flowers.
Even if you disguise it among flowers, a dog is still a dog.
Free marketing for my web site: I’m in
80/20 rule of marketing
Only 20% will become loyal, long lasting friends/clients.
“Honk if you think I’m cute”
“Fleurs Delight”
“Adding warmth, beauty and gentleness to your life”
Haiku:
gifts of love…
flowers, puppies
Sharon’s heart shows
To market it– don’t bark it. or,
To mark it–don’t bark it.
Don’t hide your beauty over a flowerpot.
To buy me you have to see me!
No Mess! No Training! No Clean Ups Or Chewed Objects! Because Thanks To This Miracle Plant Food – You Too Can Grow Dogs From Flower Plants.
Tangent headline -
MUTANT FLOWER PLANT GROWS DOG!
Look Honey, they have real pet-unias!
Flowers…even Rover would love!
P.S. That’s a rough captcha to get passed.
- Fleurs finally reveals the “Dirty Little Secrete”, how it BLOOMS it’s competition.
- Fleurs reveals the source of the secrete ingredient in every pot for longer lasting BLOOM.
- Fleurs competitive advantage for longer lasting blooms caught on camera.
- Fleurs barked up the right tree, is ahead of it’s competitors and bloomed it’s bottom line
- Fleurs with Psy Tech advise showed every dog has it’s day and business is blooming.
- Psy Tech reveals new marketing strategy “Even a Flowering business requires a leg up”
-“Even though you’re a dog at business growth Psy Tech will help your business BLOOM”
-Psy Tech show’s it Fleurs campaign is PAWS above the rest.
How Much is That Doggie in the Flowers? The One with the Bright Adwords Tale?
Single male canine desperately searches internet for lifelong loving relationship and ends up in a flower shop.
“How much for that doggie in the window?”
What dog?
- Potted plants, potted pups – eh, same difference…
- What? You said you needed good fertilizer, so…
- Don’t complain. Nobody’s likely to step in it, and you don’t have to scoop and bag it.
“Hey buddy, buy a flower!… or else…”
THE SHOP KEEPER?
Enterprising Dog Channels Inner Diva to Start Own Florist Business
(And why your dog can too!)
NINJA MARKETING MEANS :
Know how to market puppies to petunia searches. Both will make you smile but one relationship lasts a lifetime.
Build relationships that won’t dry up and die when the next batch of shiny things show up.
Love the challenge Glen. It was difficult to just pick one as the winner so you get them all…
1. How to “stand out” from the crowd…for all the RIGHT reasons…
2. Become the ALPHA-DOG in a room of marketing pansies.
3. We sell flowers and puppies. Want to get lucky?
4. Guaranteed sex tonight! Stop here on the way home.
5. Want to know if you’re offering the RIGHT product to the WRONG market? Click here to join the Market Match Newsletter…
6. Lured by the romance of internet riches? Still feeling lost? Get answers here…
7. Really think that next Clickbank product will solve all your internet business problems? Then shop here to save your marriage…
8. Need more PPC CTR love? Learn to target YOUR buying market.
9. IM Niche Insider Secret Revealed…the stuff that the so-called “big dogs” are putting out every day stinks and is shit.
10. Stop feeling lost…we can get you where you want to go…whether it’s home or on the homepage of Google.
Cheers,
Jeff
“WANTED- $10,000 REWARD: Pervert dog who does pee in peoples flowers. People are warned not to approach this dog who is on the run and hiding, as he may be armed and dangerous.
How about one of these:
1) A rose is a rose is a rose, unless it\’s a dog. Don\’t be a \"me too\" Internet Marketer, stand out from the crowd!
2) Don\’t believe everything you see, especially in the world of Internet Marketing. Here\’s how to be sure you\’re getting the \"real deal\"…
3) Does it seem that your competitor\’s Internet Marketing efforts are coming up roses, but yours is a \"dog\"? Then here\’s what you need…
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If my dog can market
So can you!
Do you hide the one thing that makes you business unique?
or
The flower shop who won the heart of it’s customers by pairing a single photo with the right keywords.
or
How a hidden asset made this flower shops owner rich. And how you can use this same technique to generate more online sales.
or
Discover why more online shoppers buy flowers from PW Jacob than any other flower store advertising on Google. (Hint: It’s not about the flowers!)
“My sh*t don’t stink…take a whiff”
…says dog to owner (and owner actually falls for it…ha ha ha)
Now, this will teach that grumpy French flowershop owner to stop kicking me.
I’ve added some value to these flowers to make them go really red!
Wanna stand out in a field of your own?
http://www.hyperresponsivemarketingclub.com
Allons-y!
Fleurs avec Fur
A longtime veteran of the Paris Gendarmerie, Inspector Chiot was a master of covert surveillance
Picture in a Google AdWords Tutorial.. caption:
“Illustration Of Irrelevant Content Within Search Results”
Is \"French flower-loving puppies\" a focused enough niche?
What…you never heard of a Dog Flower?
Here I am…Why can’t they find me?
Where’s Waldo?
Flowering Canines going fast!
Barking flowers command attention!
these are great! Glenn, you are going to have a hard time choosing…
From lilies to snap puppies.
Even after diligent market research into a niche, you won’t know if it is a dog until you test it!
What do you expect me to do if there arent any lamp posts around!
Flower salesman: “And here is out newest cross-pollinated flower, a Tulip cross-bred with a Shtizu, we call them Shitlips and they are BEAUTIFUL!”
Find the puppy and win a free copy of my e-book;
“Don’t let the tail wag the dog – take control of the internet!”
K9 magician, Doggy Blaine, sit’s in plant pot for 40 days and 40 nights.
“Poorly thought out cross-promotions may not produce desired results”
I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle
(Douglas Adams reference… Google it)
Hyper-Responsive pooch segments email lists by clients’ favorite flowers.
I see French people…
Marketing 101 – a cute dog in the window sell lots of flowers
What if your business stood out like this?
Do your prospects know what makes your business different?
Learn how to differentiate yourself from your competition.
http://www.hyperresponsivemarketingsecrets.com
[hidden shih tzu]
Sharon Livingston – American 1973 (wink) Still Living
This piece centers around the contrast between near absolute Relevancy and near zero relevant clicks per day. The calm and familiar forms of a French Street Scene shadow the deeper imagery of the frayed ends of relevancy in online micro-niched infopreneurship.
Note: I took my nine year old son to the Phoenix Art Museum last night. After reading about 10,000 sign boards explaining the pieces, I wouldn’t even blink if I saw this image hanging on the wall with that caption. Absurd? Of course, that’s the point.
What creativity on display. OK, by jove, I think I’ve got it! The title is:
“Glenn”
Because of your complex mixture of hidden qualities that only she can fully understand. Looks just like ya.
Internet Marketers, don’t lose sight of your goal — spend time with your “best friend” and stop to smell the roses.
After all, isn’t this what Glenn’s been reminding us? It’s easy to get caught up in our successes, in making money, in striving to make money… but then we lose sight of the purpose of why we’re doing it. Money and success in themselves will never satisfy.
Glenn, I agree with Patrick… I didn’t like the email subject line “what’s wrong with my wife.” Honor, love and cherish your wife… even in email subject lines and jokes. That’s how husbands keep their vows, right?
When your Quality Score is a 2 it looks like this… just not as cute.
Beauty and the Beast.
Beauty or the Beast? The Choice Is Yours.
A Day Without Flowers, Is Like Man Without His Best Friend.
“Mooommmmmm! When are you coming back?????”
Stay connected to your most treasured followers
New PPC confirmed; Pooch Per Chrysanthemum (had to google spelling!).
First she calls me Daisy now she wants me to act like one.
Matt Cutts tries new disguise out on the streets to avoid website owners.
” Dranger is a stupid name for a dog, everyone wants to say hi….”
Sniff-Marketing The Flower Niche.
Sniff-Marketing.
Flower Sniffers Wanted.
Mothers Day Flower Sniffer Sale.
Mothers Day Flower Sale, Sniffer Not Included.
The Flower Sniff Niche.
S-niche Marketing
Sniche Marketing
It’s a tough job but somebodies got to do it.
The Snoop Dogg Flower Niche.
Snoop & Sniff Flowers
OK, The Flowers are Cute but….Dogs are in Vogue too!
Exclusively for you! The Perfect Gift For the Dog who loves their human friend.
Dogs Deserve the Best.
“Wooof… don\’t drop the towel, google sends me flowers… even when I\’m in dating a pooch in paris!”
Is the dog catcher gone yet?
1) Damn! This French weed is good.
Back home I only see pink elephants!
2) Sheesh! What do these Frenchmen put in their coffee?
3) Jacques, I told you not to employ that genetic engineer……
4) Newest addition to our line of Chernobyl displays.
5) At last! A flower that you can take for a walk.
6) My wife will never believe thish!(Hic!)
7) So class, this is what happens if you use Photoshop without your glasses…
Ahhh!! the best place to crap – can’t see it, can’t smell it.
“Chia-Pet” may have pulled it off, but this “New Chia-Pooch” angle just won’t hunt! (Besides, I’m scared of bees.)
We all new Jacob took things a little to seriosly, but when he named his dog Wally we didnt really now how far he’d go.
\"I\’m a bloomin\’ idiot for letting my agent talk me into that Chia-Pooch audition…next time I\’ll use http://www.poochpower.com to find a gig…\"
Fleur-de-lis? French dog would!
So, Glen says “tap the conversation in the prospect’s head”. I search for “stop my pooch from eating flowers” and this is what I get?
We Make Ads Get Noticed
In Crowded Markets You Need An Edge
Lets Discuss Your Growth Potential
http://www.MyMarketingPlans.com
I fertilized these myself. No wonder they smell so good.
Gotta get hold of Livingston at Rocket Clicks to help me move these outta here.
Since I consulted with the Livingstons, business has been b(l)ooming. I just hope that the photo they took doesn’t wind up in some cheesy promo.
“What am I doing here?”
\\"Red brings out my leadership qualities.\\"
Poor Doggie (from France) for sale – Pls help my wife…
Wilford Brimley at his flower shop.
Sorry, thought of another one!
“Bloom where you’re planted”
Lisa~
See if they find me now.
Shrouded in secrecy and spring Fleurs of love!
Mon Dieu! Who has time for marketing when I\’m up to my ears running this flower shop?
What? It worked for Mario…
Google acquires Fleurs for $10,000,000 to get exclusive rights to a bunch of dogs.
The merger is set to rival Bing with their bunch of pussys.
So many pots to piss in and no room to raise my leg!
As Shakespeare once said: “A dog by any other name would smell…”
Hiker discovers rare hyper responsive plant seed. Posted miraculous growth through proper research and testing techniques that took over 6 months to develop. This flower was planted last week. 95% of it\’s \"watering\" comes from neighborhood dogs. Buy your hyper responsive seeds today! (dog not included)
Chris.
P.S. Here are some of the benefits of these hyper responsive seeds:
- When you use them right, it becomes extremely difficult for others in your neighborhood to compete with your garden
- Get higher soil break through rates in your garden or potted plant containers that will make you say Yahoo!!
- You can dramatically increase the beauty for an existing garden, or cut your risk of failure planting new gardens in half
- The BEST NEWS is that they\’re idiot proof and I\’ll provide you with everything you need. (dog not included)
Pet Flowers
“The beautiful smell of flowers is so liberating….”
If I Sneeze I’m Rat Sh*t
If I Sneeze I’m A Goner
So Glenn, do tell. Who is the BIG WINNER?
Mon Petit Pooh Fleur
Hi Justin … the BIG WINNER was announced in Friday’s Blog Post last week
I know its all over but how about this one-
Fleurs Flowers Helping You Avoid The Dog House
@poochiekoo: FLOWER ME ON TWITTER…