Something kind of bad happened to me a few weeks ago which is sapping my energy, making me bitter, and interfering with my normal content-gifting mindset.
I’m wondering how you’d all go about restoring a positive outlook if it were you?
In early December I went for a winter hike up a mountain stream to my favorite icy waterfall. Winter is my favorite season up here in New Hampshire… the snow, the ice, the majestic mountain views with precious few people to clutter them up… it’s nothing short of astounding.
You see, once you know how to dress for the cold, it’s actually rather comfortable and cozy. And the cold mountain air is extremely invigorating.
Despite this, we occasionally find a frozen tourist on the trails thawing out in the spring after the frost lifts (seriously)… winter hiking is NOT something to be taken casually.
Anyway, I was on the trail wearing crampons (kind of like ice picks that stick out of your boots so you can walk on a sheer sheet of ice and granite without killing yourself) carrying my special hiking poles with ice piercing super-grip tips, just loving the breathtaking scenery… a series of almost frozen cascades surrounded by hills on all sides on the way up to my 80 foot waterfall, where I planned to sit for an hour or so just to clear my head.
Then I happened across a couple of tourists walking in sneakers, entirely under-dressed, trying to cross an almost frozen stream with absolutely no equipment. They were asking all about the trail, where the waterfalls were, etc.
I explained to them the waterfalls started just up ahead, but they were going to have a very hard time crossing the streams and I was concerned for their safety. They were quite insistent on crossing anyway, so I crossed the river first with my equipment, and then THREW my favorite hiking poles back across the river to them so they’d have a better chance of making it without getting a concussion (or worse).
Anyway, they made it across, at which point I realized that I was planning on hiking further ahead than they were, which would leave them without the poles to get back. So without thinking too much about it I simply insisted they take my poles, and asked if they’d just leave them by my car in the parking lot. (It was only one of 3 cars in a very big and desolate lot)
It seemed like the only humane thing to do, even though it took me years to find this particular pair of hiking poles which I’ve grown very attached to (they’ve carried me over many a 5,000 foot mountain top). And I was perfectly capable of doing this particular hike with just the crampons and no poles, but they were NOT capable of safely crossing the stream without poles.
So they agreed, and took my business card in case they couldn’t find my car. (Yes, I found I WAS carrying a business card on the mountain, don’t ask me why)
Anyway, long story short, there were NO poles leaning against my car when I returned to the lot, which could mean only one of four things:
1) They both wandered off the trail and froze to death out of my line of sight when I returned. I think this is very unlikely given they seemed very interested in staying ON the trail and there’s not much reason to wander off this particular path since all the scenery is right on it.
2) They DID leave the poles on my car, but someone else came by and stole them while they were leaning there unattended. I think this too is very unlikely given that so few people ever drive through that particular lot on such a cold winter day, and my car was at the very far end. (If they had intended to leave them for me, they would have easily known to put them on the blind-side so even if someone did drive in, they wouldn’t have seen them)
3) They decided they preferred to mail them back to me at my business address on the card. (But I haven’t received anything in 3 weeks, and you’d think they would have telephoned to let me know)
4) They were abducted by aliens who took them to Tunisia and forced them to take hallucinogenics and worship the African Sun God.
5) They said “Hey, this guy doesn’t know who we are and this is a nice set of expensive hiking poles… let’s keep’m!”
Unfortunately, as much as I’d LIKE to believe it was one of the first 4, I really think it’s #5.
Now, I’ve never been a fool about human nature. I know that the majority of people are driven by base instincts, that society is an evolutionary experiment, and that most of you are probably thinking “Well, Glenn, what did you expect?”
I made a conscious decision a long time ago to be a giving person regardless… and to make giving its own reward.
Still, I might have saved this couple’s life, and they repaid me by steeling my favorite sticks! I mean, I know it’s the Holidays and all, but man, they really were my favorites… C’mon!
From a marketing context, this is actually an important story. Because the more competitive the internet becomes, the more you’ve got to be willing to pour your heart and soul into providing value for your market, often for long periods of time before you start reaping the rewards. And sometimes there are NO rewards, just the giving itself.
More and more, AdWords advertisers are willing to go negative on the first sale in order to acquire the customer, and sometimes even the opt in. (By definition you DO have to go at least somewhat negative and give before you receive if your first goal is to acquire an opt in, because you subordinate the sale to establishing the relationship)
So I think it’s important we all keep on the lookout for feelings of bitterness and negativity regarding our uncompensated gifts.
Therefore, I suppose I answered this one myself by writing this post, and I don’t have any choice but to go on giving, but is it so awful that I’m hoping to find them thawed out on the trail this spring?
Have a Wonderful Holiday,
Dr. G 
PS – What do you think? How would you handle it? I’d really like to know! (Leave me your comments please)
PPS – After writing this post, I ditched my computer and hit the road to get back to the icy waterfall. Took a picture this time, which definitely doesn’t do it justice (really, it’s 80 feet tall and you feel kind of puny sitting at the bottom), but I thought you might like to see anyway:
And here’s a fairly poorly shot video:
{ 54 comments }
Well Glenn, I would like to think that there are more people like you in this world than the other way around. It seems like I’ve had to lower my expectations every year though. Your rewards will come in a different form because nature has a way of paying back to those that give. Keep up the good work!
You’re awesome Glenn!
That’s a great way of looking at it and yes, sometimes the only joy comes from the giving.
Yesterday, a young guy was sitting in his car with a bunch of people as I pulled up to a gas station, and he was starting in to his story about how he needed enough gas to get back home, if I could spare a dollar, etc …
… I just grabbed whatever cash was in my wallet and handed it to him.
The random acts of giving feel good.
I guess the “forced” random acts are the ones that take the consciousness to appreciate in the moment/shortly after
Merry Christmas!
Caleb
First, I like the plan to hike into the mountains to sit alone for at least an hour. Time well spent!
Next, your sense of giving & positivity about the entire matter (and then expressing it in a teachable context on a topic of interest to us all) is, well, good.
In the same way, I like to focus daily on Joy, Faith, Giving, Counsel With/For Others, & Positivity in my actions. As much as you (we, as humans) want exactly what you (we) want, something positive did happen here indeed…maybe all of this, along with your attitude, helped to restore your marketing mindset.
It has been said that ” No good deeds goes unpunished!”…and to often that seems true.
However, I firmly believe that it is the fact that you put a needy stranger first, knowing it could cost you, that makes some of us still believe in human kind.
Your story is not primary about marketing, nor for that matter your hiking poles, it is about the condition of your heart. You’ve exposed yourself enough to us to know that neither you or your wife are fools about human nature.
” He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot loose” …Jim Elliot
Thanks for this heartwarming Christmas story Glenn!
Nice gesture, Glenn, but you should have left them to their own devices. Thty needed to learn the lessons you had learned about the mountains in winter, etc. They wouldn’t have died. They would have froze their feet, skinned up a knee and gone home. Good riddance to dilettantes.
Your only mistake was in not letting go of the poles when you gave them away. Reminds me of the story of the two Buddhist monks. They were forbidden to have contact with women. But walking down the road along the river, they came across a beautiful young woman with a suitcase who desparately needed to get across the river but couldn\’t ford the strong current. The one monk acted instantly, picked her up, carried her across, and swam back. Then he and the other monk continued down the road in silence. Three hours went by. Finally the first monk said, \"Brother, you know we are forbidden to be in contact with women. How could you do that? How could you carry her across the river holding her like that?\" The second monk simply said, \"Brother, I picked her up and carried her for five minutes…three hours ago…and have never thought of her again. You have been holding her in your mind ever since.\"
So let go already. Take conscious control of your thoughts.
Try this one. Whenever you think about these people – just pivot away from the thought. Think of the beauty of the mountain. This was what you were ultimately trying to share – so embrace it as a part of your \"story\" that you are telling yourself.
Glenn, I’d say that your regret over the loss of your poles, and even your disappointment in human nature, pale in comparison to what you would have felt if you had done NOTHING and you later learned they’d died or were seriously injured.
Maybe the only other thing you could have done would have been to change your own plans and to go WITH them. And isn’t that a kind of business lesson in itself? Sometimes we have a particular path in mind, but circumstances present us an unexpected alternative.
I know. I know. You didn’t set out to rescue hiking neophytes from themselves. My point is that you had another option besides giving up your poles, which are, after all, merely things. You could have given up your own agenda and taken the opportunity to show them a hiking experience they couldn’t have on their own.
Please understand, Glenn, I’m not criticizing you. YOU were the one who was there, so only YOU know if they would have welcomed your help as a protective guide or if you could have tolerated their presence, or even if this time you’d planned to spend hiking solo was too precious to change your plans for.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that in business unexpected opportunities come up that we, at first, don’t even SEE as opportunities. Instead they masquerade as deterrents, stumbling blocks, frustrations and even moral dilemmas.
Hmmm. I appear to be in a philosophic mood. Must be the season.
Deb Gallardo
The Story Ideas Virtuoso
Glenn,
I’m reminded of that famous quote by Mother Theresa, which I think is particularly appropriate in your circumstances.
Even as non-religious person, I always find the wisdom in these words help me restore my own giving, marketing mindset (and positive outlook on life) — whenever this sort of thing happens to me:
============
“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
“If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
“If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
“If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
“What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
“If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
“The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
“Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
=============
And now that you’ve got me thinking about this on deeper level…
A few more thoughts:
As Stephen Covey would probably point out — we can only control our own circle of influence — how we *respond* to the way in which other people behave.
You get 1,000 people who genuinely appreciate, and thank you for what you do — and 1 guy who screws you over. And we all know what sticks out in our minds at the end of the day: The 1000? No, it’s almost always the 1.
I admittedly struggle with this occasionally — expending an inordinate amount of mental energy on the complainers, the bitter, and the negative customers that seem to have no purpose in our lives other than to slow progress and spread their misery.
(My guess is that we probably all struggle with these sort of people in our lives to some degree.)
But for me, proactively shifting my conscious thoughts to the 1,000 — which on a practical level often means reading through a few emails from customers writing to let me know how their lives have been impacted in a meaningful way because of something I said or did — (or even writing a blog post or comment to help sort out my thoughts
— is often enough to get my “giving mindset” and positive actions back on track.
Happy holidays, Glenn — and to continued success in 2010
You are a very giving person, Glenn. The problem is that you didn’t intend to give your poles to these creeps, and this creates resentment.
You know, I’ve often said I will give you the shirt off my back but just don’t steal it. Ah, humans being. But if Jesus had this problem (healed 12, only 2 came back and even say thanks) why should I not also? I think this puts “givers” in good company. I think when we pass the ‘being stolen from’ test we move on to higher ground. Letting go of resentment is one of the secrets to a prosperous life. And God is gracious enough to help us navigate practice time! hahaha!
As you well know, our greatest disappointments come from people who act in ways contrary to what we think they should. The problem is when we do things assuming (or hoping) people will act in accordance with our expectations.
I would ask that you consider some other possibilities for their actions. Do you think they had any idea how much those poles meant to you? You seem to have treated the poles rather casually, why would you expect them to place a higher value on the poles than you did? Would you have trusted strangers with your Rolex/credit card, etc.?
I suspect they had a much different appreciation of the poles than you did. And part of that they probably gained from you.
Does it sting? Sure. But did you take the nobler path? Of course. I suspect they had no idea of the potential danger they were flirting with.
One thing you well know, there is no profit in stewing about “if”. We must accept history as over and done with. Nothing you can do will ever change what happened. We do not get “instant replay” in life. We should not waste time and energy on second guessing things we do. Learn the lesson and move on.
Is there a marketing message? I suspect a more valuable life lesson. But from a marketing standpoint, we should never assume someone else knows the value of the “poles” or whatever our product/service is. We must clearly demonstrate the value. Only when we value what we have for sale, can we expect the prospect to value it.
Lots more valuable lessons in this incident. But I suspect the real lesson is for each person to figure it out on their own.
Hi Glenn, a thought-provoking post which has gotten some wonderful feedback from your readers.
Two themes stand out for me from responses (1) Ron W – about Responsibility, and how it was theirs and not yours (bound up in that is cause and effect) and (2) John Chancellor (hi John) – about Value, our own and how we take it for granted (and de-value it).
Thanks for sharing!
Sorry, but to me this post just amplifies your sense of self-importance. Sounds like you pushed your poles on these folks, like you were insistent on telling them how dangerous it was when all they did was ask you for directions. Sure, it was kind of you to offer advice to them, but I get the feeling from the context that you went above and beyond and kind of insisted on helping them whether they wanted it or not. Just like you feel all the emails you send out impact some segment of society.
I know this sounds unkind, but then you did ask us all to post comments here, didn’t you?
By the way, you know where you got the first set of poles, and therefore probably know where to get a new set of them. And since you’re so successful in every business venture you touch, you can easily afford to buy another pair. So why are you suddenly so sour on life?
Forgive them. They\’re obvious fools that will pay for their actions sooner or later. Being mad at them only hurts you, not them. I saw a TV show or read an article once (can\’t remember which) that documented changes in the brain (plaques) that were caused by negative emotions. They are but children who don\’t understand how stupid they are.
Hi Glenn,
How very interesting the different comments which your invitation has elicited.
I joined your course because you constantly gave me free advice and information in such a charming and open manner that I wanted to reciprocate. I also was convinced I would benefit. Giving freely of oneself is the essence of feeling good about oneself. It is also very smart marketing and I market my health supplements in precisely the same way. I send newsletters with interesting and useful content. I answer dozens of email questions every day, including those I know will never produce business. But many eventually do.
My dad is 102 years old this Sunday. He still has a razor sharp mind, but is now confined to a wheelchair. He has had a very successful business life, making several fortunes in several countries, having had to flee the Nazis and start all over again with nothing. I remember asking him years ago, to what he attributed his success in business. He replied, I always allowed my customers to take advantage of me. As a result they loved him and repaid him handsomely.
Have a great Xmas and New Year.
Leo
Sorry for the loss of your poles… but what a wonderful thing you did! Often the good things people do result in others taking advantage; the important thing to remember is that you did YOUR job.
Your job is to be kind and caring and giving; their job is to do the same. If they walk out with your poles, or use the change you gave them to buy drugs, or however they misuse your gift, you have done your part; they have failed to do theirs.
Karma will prevail!
Hi Glenn,
Giving is important, no doubt, but so is the art of receiving. We are all at one time or another both givers and receivers, and there is a huge difference between receiving and taking. The difference is in the value we place on what is given. If we think little of the gift, without awareness of its value to the giver, do we just take without gratitude? Is that ever acceptable?
The lesson in all this may be remembering how you felt about giving away those sticks, without gratitude in return, when it is your turn to receive something.
Thank you for all this, Glenn. What a perfect time of year to reflect on these issues.
Mary Jo
Glenn,
I have read through all the replies as well as your post and I feel the necessity to express my core values. The law of God states that all of us reap what we sow, or in today’s lingo “what goes around comes around.”
Giving will always bring rewards and typically “at such a time that you think not…” which is refreshing, at least to me.
Do others need help? Absolutely. Do people take advantage of anyone’s goodness? Absolutely, and there will always be a segment that does this. I personally believe that the actual lesson is for us to see if we’re willing to give, and the mistake that is made (speaking only about myself) is that we are always looking for the payback.
I think the reality is that maybe we didn’t get the payback from that person or that day, week, or month. But at least in your case the opportunity to hike these mountains and have the time and equipment and
health to do exactly what you want to do … is really quite a blessing.
I find myself with a case of the mully-grubs from time to time as well and I believe that it’s in all of us. But I will continue to give more and I KNOW that I will be repaid.
Bill
Glenn,
Congratulations to you on exercising your \"good will\" even though the recipients responded with a spirit of ingratitude.
Even though you lost your hiking poles, I believe that you did a good deed and I agree with Ryan\’s quote of Mother Theresa.
Maybe next time, getting a security deposit like a drivers license or credit card might be prudent, too – to protect you as well. When we sell on-line, we offer a money-back guarantee, but we do take the money up front before we deliver the \"sellable\" product.
Have a very Merry Christmas,
- Dave
Merry Christmas Glenn! You help a lot of people with all of your work. I hope your business continues to soar as a result of your contributions and desire to help us all out! Cheers!
Hey Glenn,
Here\’s another perspective, though I don\’t know of this will appeal to you. I was in a motorcycle crash a few years ago. I broke my collarbone and totalled my bike (so, I got off easy) but the dude who caused the accident kept driving. He wouldn\’t have been declared at fault, since he didn\’t actually hit me. I crashed while avoiding him.
I was furious after my crash. That jackass kept driving! I could have been seriously hurt!
But then I put myself in his position. The decision to drive away took less than 3 seconds. The guilt in the pit of his stomach would have hit immediately after and stayed with him that whole week, and further – at least as long as it took my shoulder to heal.
Even worse, had he changed his mind, fixing his mistake would have cost him even more than the original crime would have (he could have been charged with misdemeanor leaving the scene of an accident).
Likewise, your trail buddies are stuck with the same feeling, while you can skip merrily on your way, after you get over your anger.
Hey,
I’ve just got to respond to the dude who called Glenn self important.
You’ll be afraid to admit it, but what you’re feeling is envy. Few of us ever get the chance to do truly important work in our lives. It sounds foreign and offensive when someone freely claims their work is pivotal.
Glenn has been doing meaningful work through his whole career, and spent a significant chunk of time training to do so. He’s earned some right to call himself relevant.
Now, I would have probably been annoyed by him offering me his stocks too, and I would definitely have been the guy in tennis shoes (I mught even have felt the temptation to steal his sticks) and if those thugs prick your conscience, too, then understand you have that selfish part of yourself and get on with life. Don’t bother ranting on blogs. It makes you look miserable
After all, maybe you CAN find meaning in your work. Even ditch diggers have a purpose.
You allowed your heart to take precedence over your ability to discern with wisdom the couple’s true character. It is possible to ask the Heavenly Father to reveal to you WHILE YOU ARE ENGAGED IN CONVERSATION whether or not a person speaks in a spirit of truth or is deceptive with themselves, you, and others.
You are to be commended for your compassion and ability to show mercy.
You must be admonished to allow the voice of truth(Adonai) to speak to you in every circumstance.
Now, in regard to “restoring a positive outlook,” I submit the folllowing:
BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. Read again Rabbi Kushner’s book about this subject. It might also be helpful to dwell on the Psalms during your times of meditation. David declares in Psalm 119:25-32
I lie prostrate in the dust;
revive me, in keeping with your word.
I told you of my ways, and you answered me;
teach me your laws.
Make me understand the way of your precepts,
and I will meditate on your wonders.
I am melting away from anxiety and grief;
renew my strength, in keeping with your word.
Keep deceitful ways far from me,
and favor me with your Torah.
I choose the way of trust;
I set your rulings before me.
I cling to your instruction;
Adonai, don’t let me be put to shame!
I will run the way of your mitzvot,
for you have broadened my understanding.
I also often resort to reading Mother Theresa’s writings in a thing she called, Do It Anyway.
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
In short, I think the way to restore your positive attitude is to dwell on the infinite depth of the Torah. By doing this, you will not be dwelling on the unrighteous act perpetrated against you. You will be placing your mind steadfastly on the single minded truths of Adonai’s mind toward you. By understanding that He encourages us to always walk in trust toward others, you will become a forgiving person. By remaining forgiving, you prove your unity with yourself and Adonai. And when you are able to say in all good conscience that you and Adonai are one, you are demonstrating the central truth of our faith…specifically (Shema Yisrael Adonai eloheinu Adonai ehad) (Deuteronomy 6:4)
But these are just my thoughts. These thoughts and $1.85 will get you a coffee at your local shop…or is it $3.15 now.
Glenn-
You’ve got a lot of great comments and suggestions here to mull through. What I’d suggest is that you really got a great deal – just not the one you thought you made:
– You got to help some amateur hikers who didn’t sense the danger that was present.
– You got to remember how much you love hiking and those special poles that you donated to a good cause.
– You were reminded at the end that not all people are either reliable or honest or both. This is a good marketing lesson to remember as well.
– You got a great story to tell, share and even link into marketing.
– And, the best part is, now you have a fantastic excuse to buy you a truly awesome pair of new poles to replace the ones you had before.
In the end, though, you’re a richer person in what really matters by choosing the path you did. Poles you can replace; your self-esteem and lives of others you cannot.
Look at the big picture. You are a wealthy man. Think abundance. Count your blessings man, not your piddling losses.
I have to say, this is perhaps the first time I’ve felt my list has done therapy on ME
Thank you all so much for your comments and stories (including those of you who left respectfully challenging criticism, which I may not always like the feeling of, but upon which I find I usually look back with intrigue as something which has made me stronger)
I ditched my computer after writing the post this morning and headed for the waterfall again. This time I took a picture and added it to the post.
You know, starting this blog may have been the best thing I did all year.
Thanks again,
Dr. G
Ask and you shall receive…….. what kind of poles are they?
Have you been good all year?
Maybe Santa is real even if he comes to New Hampshire a little bit late this year.
Thanks to Glenn, Sharon and everyone sharing their gifts.
Thank You for all the help you have gien me.
Mery Christmas to You anf your family. Don
Very good article, and the handsome blogger.
I hope that you and your family had a wonderful Christmas!
Sarah Rodham
What a golden opportunity! Here’s the lemonade recipe: Become an affiliate for that pole company! Your story, pics & vid would make a GREAT sales page. There are 93M results for just ‘winter hiking’. Great way to reap a harvest! Peace!
Hi Glenn
It was great what you did, and yes it is a bumma that those people didnt have the caring to give back. I think of it in terms of energy that flows. Those people didnt return the energy.
There is a global network set up where people can receive and give and also helps the environment.. It allows for the energy to continue to flow with the generosity of giving in mind. It is Global but also region specific, so there is a network whever you are in the world.
http://www.freecycle.org Join the global network that makes giving and receiving a daily occurance. Free up the energy to keep flowing.
This site changed the way that i looked at ‘holding’ onto possessions. Easy come, easy go now!!! Tanya, Noosa Australia
Inspirational Glenn! You have reminded me how important it is to leave all this marketing/technology stuff behind and just get out there and enjoy life. Oh and thanks for all the great great work that you have shared with us in 2009 – really appreciate it. Hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday season and an even more successful 2010.
Couldn’t help be a bit mystified at one of the previous posts….and I quote:
“Rich Tanenbaum 12.23.09 at 9:17 am
Sorry, but to me this post just amplifies your sense of self-importance”
Not for me to judge, but here is his website for those that are interested:
http://www.savvysoft.com/rich.htm
Looks to me that he does a pretty good job of “amplifying his sense of self-importance”….I’m just saying
Thanks for adding the photo and video. You live in a spectacular part of the world. Enjoy!
Glenn,
I think everyone has covered everything except congratulating you on getting a new phone with all working keys. I remember you told us you were holding out to see how long you could go without using the one letter that wouldnt work on the keypad.
I dont think I could ever go back to a regular phone now that the iPhone is out. You might like the Pano app for all the great scenery you get to enjoy.
Thanks for all your tips and training. I’m lovin’ your Hyper-Responsive club,
there’s so much meat in your meals, I feel like I can conquer my world better now. Its already helped me find the Bulls Eye phrase for a market Im working on, thanks.
David
reminds me of the time i was out on my front lawn and found some papers blowing by. i picked it up and noticed it was from the county welfare agency, and had a local address on it i was surprised ( i live in a nice area) and decided this was a sign for me to help these people. i mailed a small donation of gift cards from a local supermarket to the address on the form and felt good about doing it. then i found out that the people i mailed it to were arrested for welfare fraud and robbing people in the neighborhood. wish i knew a moral to the story, but it pissed me off for a long time, and i was glad that i didnt put a return address on the enevelope. the only other thing i will say glenn is that dont let it annoy you so much that you stop being a giving person
Hey David – now THAT is a good memory sir! (It was the letter K).
I’m loving the iPhone, although my partner Jeff is mad at me for defecting from the Blackberry. But man, I just can’t believe how much better it is and how much more productive that little black brick makes me.
Hope you have a wonderful Holiday week,
Dr. G
Hi Glenn,
one of the things that I find most relevant in your post is that you demonstrated one of the deepest human traits that is at the core of what makes us human. ie giving and caring.
The people you gave your poles to also demonstrated another deep human trait. Self centredness and uncaring. ( as well as downright stupidity…)
Finding the balance is not always easy and knowing that you have done the right thing is often the only reward we will ever get.
Thanks for a thought provoking post.
Cheers,
Mike
I’ll clarify my post about Glenn’s self-importance: I have no problem with Glenn talking up his background on his web site; he should do that, just like the rest of us. Which is why I’ve written up my web site bio as I have, to promote credibility.
The aspect of Glenn’s writing I was referring to was what he sends to his list. In this case, it seemed to me (because these are just my opinions, not anyone else’s) that Glenn was sending out an email, to thousands of people, fishing for compliments. It sounded an awful lot like “Hey, I did something nice for some people, and since they couldn’t thank me for it, I need all of you to go online and do it instead.” That doesn’t mean Glenn’s not a nice guy, or that he didn’t really help someone out, but I think he was overtly looking for people to like him nonetheless.
He’s sent out emails in the past talking about how great it is to have a group of people following him and listening to him, which I think is a sign of self-importance. Just the other day he wrote “It’s amazing
to me how cathartic it is to have this list and blog to share with!” I subscribe to his list for specific marketing advice, not his ideas on how to save the economy from recession, or be thankful for the people in our lives, or to read about how he was nice to some hikers, all of which have been in some of his emails over the poast couple of years. Sure, you could argue all of these have to do with marketing, but it’s really a bit of a stretch.
Now you could say I could unsubscribe from his list, and I certainly can. At the same time, Glenn asked for thoughts, and I certainly can state my opinion here since it was invited, as was everyone else’s.
All of which doesn’t mean I have an overall negative opinion of the guy, and even though I’m not in a position to call him a friend, even friends still criticize each other constructively, don’t they?
One other thing: just as Glenn offered unsolicited help to others in this story, and ended up losing out on his poles in the process, so too have I offered Glenn unsolicited advice on improving his products in the past (products I paid for, and didn’t return) in the spirit of making his products better, and while I didn’t lose anything in doing so, I also never got so much as an acknowledgement from him or an associate. Considering his big thing is listening to the customer, this always struck me as a bit odd. I don’t stay up at night thinking about it, but again, it’s an area in which could improve.
Thanks Rich for your very honest answer. The truth is, I never really mind when people criticize me, which is not to say I LIKE it… I just think it’s important.
I really WISH I could respond to every one of the literally thousands of comments and suggestions people make, and in fact, early on I TRIED to do that, … but it’s unfortunately not practical at this level.
This is actually NOT because I’m too big and important to do so, but rather much the opposite. If I had dozens of people working for me in my educational business (Rocket Clicks is a different story), I could easily assign a full time person to attend to every last comment.
But I manage my educational business on a set of rather small, low end products marketed to a relatively small audience. It’s simply not a multi-zillion dollar operation, as many people imagine, but rather just a nice supplemental income stream which I do for enjoyment and challenge.
I hope you’ll understand and I’m sorry if this otherwise hurts your feelings, which makes perfect sense interpersonally… just not economically.
Now, regarding my sharing of personal stories and events… you’d do very well to study rather than criticize. Left brained, serious business people like you and I take years to develop the warm relationship with their list which REALLY boosts interactions, involvement, and sales… PLUS, it’s a MUCH nicer way of doing business and it really IS cathartic.
Say what you will about it, … but you’ll have a hard time arguing with the numbers (and the good feelings it produces all around) once you begin.
Have a wonderful end of year…
All the best for the New Year,
Dr G
Hi Glenn,
You have all my respect and admiration for being so true and generous. i have been reading for more than a year and I have seen nobody giving out so much valuable and fantastic information. I love this great post for many reasons and I think it shows your true nature.
I know it all too well that this happens from time to time. But thank god it is not the norm. My experience is that most of the time people are grateful for what we give them. But overall, regardless of what we give away (or loose), I think that whatever happens, we must be grateful for all that we have, including the intangible. We live in the wealthiest and most secure area of the world. We also live in the most extraordinary time ever, with the means at hand like never before, to create a fortune in a matter of hours and out of thin air (or well acted upon ideas). We are truly blessed.
The year 2010 will be the year of abundance and more people than ever before will put the Internet to good use and create wealth for themselves and the people around them.
You did the only decent thing. Giving your pole was right but they should have returned them. There is time yet. Maybe when the seasons over you will get not only your poles but something more. Each time they see those poles they will think of you and the area you met. Lets hope they go to your website and their conscience pricks them sufficently to contact you if only to say thank you.
I live in Derbyshire (UK) and like you have some spectacular sceanery around me, which I visit weekly. I have seen many people who are new to the area dressed badly for the conditions or terrain and without a map. It’s madness but up to us to give out doses of human kindess so to encourage them to look further to learn and above all to think.
Thanks for your response, and don’t worry I don’t take it personally at all. And the economics of it make sense, I guess: if you’re not selling a ton of something, there’s less incentive to make it better and better. And yet, each piece of your product line, as well as the rest of your package (web site, support, packaging, ads, etc.) do reflect on you and your company as a whole, so the attention each product gets should be dictated by more than just the economics of that one product. For example, the likelihood of purchasing a second product is highly dependent on the user’s experience with the first product. I’m sure you know all this much better than me, but sometimes it’s like the cobbler’s children going barefoot if you know what I mean (and we are all guilty of this to some degree).
I also saw yesterday you sent an email that talked about the cash register ringing more when you go off topic. I can’t disagree with you on that since you have your own proof, and I have my own as well which tells a similar story, though dollars aren’t directly attached to mine. In my case I find my email response rate, and the strength of the response, is greatest when I send out an emotional email rather than an informational email. I would have never thought it would work in my market, which if one is to sterotype consists of type-A personality, predominantly male, traders for large financial institutions, who deal with highly quantitative instruments and trading strategies. But they are also all human.
So when I got your HDYB product, my intention was to learn how to do surveys, how to discover the search continuum for my market, and how to find out my customers’ hot buttons to place in my ads, web pages and brochures. Sadly, I got none of that. But I did get something else, which was the notion that decisions are based on emotions, not logic. And my experience with emotional emails has clearly borne that out. So I would like to thank you for that insight (though I would still love to get the other benefits from the product (I’ve been holding onto my critique certificate for that one…)).
All that said, I still feel that the emotion needs to be on topic with the purpose of the list. I just have this vague feeling that ethics demand that. Now, if someone is reading your blog, and you write on there about whatever pops into your head that day, then people following it should expect it to cover many topics. But if someone has an email relationship with you, and they are on a list because they bought a particular product, which serves a particular service, I don’t think it’s appropriate to tell them in an email which presidential candidate you support (you did that last year). I don’t think it’s fair to subject people to a conversation they were not expecting to have, and while the cost is fairly minimal in one email, it still doesn’t seem the right thing to do. And to me, it said that you thought I should care about which candidate you supported, which I did not, however much I might respect you for other things. That’s an example of what I meant by self-importance. but if the cash register rang a lot from that one, well, I guess I may have to eat my words…
Sorry for the long post. Guess I’m in long copy mode today.
Well, I think we can respectfully agree to disagree on most of the points above save one… no one’s ever accused the HDYB program of failing to deliver “learn how to do surveys, how to discover the search continuum for my market, and how to find out my customers’ hot buttons to place in my ads, web pages and brochures”. They’ve said it was too detailed and complex (which is why I redid the product last spring), but you’re the first to fail to see the content above. (I couldn’t let that particular criticism stand — all others are matters of opinion)
Sorry, that must have not come out right; I was trying to pay you a compliment on the “buy based on emotions” concept and my choice of words backfired.
I did learn how to put a survey together as your example was quite clear, but unfortunately I must have implemented it poorly because my responses were not at all good, even thought I thought I was following the instructions to the letter. And the poor responses led to my inability to find the hot buttons. I didn’t mean to criticize your methods, and although I had an older version of the system I wouldn’t have criticized it for being too complicated.
But on the search continuum thing: while I’ve heard you talk about how there is a search continuum, I looked and looked for where you talk about how to actually find this thing, instead of just giving an example of a singular and plural word used for guinea pigs that come at different points in the search lifecycle. If it was there, I’ve never found it. Can you point me to the spot where the method for discovering it is described/discussed?
By the way, though I may be the first to bring this one up too,
I thought the best part of the package (the version I had of the original seminar) was Sharon’s role playing of a focus group. That was brilliant all by itself. And since my words seem to be betraying me here, please don’t take it as an iinsult, as it is meant to say more good about her than bad about you.
Thanks for saying that Rich… the search continuum information was at the tail end of the Excel analyses in the old How to Double Your Business product. Your results, by the way, indicated a very competitive and/or non-responsive market which you would have had a very hard time marketing to in the long run. (The metrics shown in that product put up red flags in order to prevent you from sinking a fortune into that kind of a black hole)
Have a happy New Year … this has been an interesting exchange!
(Everyone else, please ignore this as the newer Hyper Responsive Approach is somewhat different)
It is better to give than receive. You have planted a seed in those people. I am sure they will never forget your concern and generosity. Thank you so much for the story and pictures.
Perhaps there is another explanation… You were expecting the poles to be leaning against your car and did not look under your car where they had hidden them to be safer, and you drove off without spotting them. But that’s back to mindset again…
Have you ever gone to this place after this incident? .You may be able to see them again at this same spot because people want to visit their favorite spots again and again.
I would be great if you can find these people again and get the right answer .
That answer may be entirely different from your assumptions .
Thanks for this very nice thought Nikhil…
It’s MY favorite hike… I go at least once a month. In fact, I was there just Wednesday this week.
I’ve long since purchased a new set of improved poles though, and they’ve carried me miles and miles on the highest peaks.
Have a great 4th
Glenn,
I read this post and knew what I wanted to say in response, but patiently read through everyone else’s responses just to make sure that I wouldn’t be saying what everyone else had said. I’m pleased to find that I can add something unique to this discussion.
First, I wanted to ask if you’ve read Emmerson’s essay on Compensation. Our friends that know the Bible and the Torah well will find in it a compilation of thoughts that expound on the concepts and truths taught in those holy books, and our friends that believe in karma can share in deeper insights into those beliefs. The jist of it is that you never lost your poles. That with every act whether good or bad comes the reward (or punishment) for that act. Emmerson restates and expounds on what the good book teaches, that posession is not ownership, and therefore you could not give your poles away to someone who needed them in any way that cost you, because with the act of giving immediately came the reciprocate of that action (as with all actions).
I would say that it was time for you to recieve better poles, which you needed to take you to new and better places, but which you couldn’t recieve because you were so firmly attached to what you had. So you gave, because it’s your nature, and recieved because it’s the way everything works. And as you testified you have better poles now.
It’s a limited, short sighted, narrow way of thinking to look at the world and see loss and lack. Those only exist in the most confined of spaces. Did you know in the desert there is almost always at least 30% moisture content in the air? Lots of people know that about 100 years ago they predicted humanity would starve because the earth couldn’t produce enough food to sustain the population growth, and that man could never exceed speeds of 45 miles per hour (if I remember right it was roughly the top speed of horses). Anytime you’re looking at a loss or lack remember that what you’re looking at is a VERY small portion of what is, and with all that is, how could you possibly be without?
Some of you will think this way of thinking is etherial or impractical, or doesn’t hold any deep significance for day to day living. Many people as well as myself have proven over and over again its inherant utility in small things as well as large. Ponder it a while, and if it doesn’t make you at least twice the money you paid for it, I’ll give you all my money.
Michael, it was very kind of you to spend so much time thinking about and responding to this post in such an intriguing way. I’m sure I’m not the only one who will read your thoughts with interest. Thanks again – G
Glenn:
Character is its own reward.
The reward I see immediately for your character is that you have a life, marriage, business and bank account that reflect your character. I know in the time that I’ve read your posts and listened to your mp3′s, you have been a great addition to my life and business. This blog post further illustrates to me the *value* of your character and how it adds to my life and my day today.
You and Sharon are terrific people, and the standard that you both bring to your work has been such a benefit to me! I hope the character you both hold continues to bring further riches to your experience of being alive. Despite the fact that they stole your poles, it’s a more beautiful world with people like you in it.
Thanks for being in mine!
Athena… what a sweet post
(Made both Sharon and my day!)
In the past, I would have performed the same compassionate gesture.
A BIG MISTAKE.
Not for losing the poles but for perpetrating the stupidity of our species. You see Glenn, the surrounding elements and Darwin gave you an opportunity to raise the evolutionary bar a tad. We failed.
Being a winter hiker/camper myself I can’t count the number of times my ‘good side’ has been called upon the even save a life. I’ve learned to regret it.
Let them go Glenn… (the poles AND the hikers). That way your poles may show themselves to you in spring and the bodies will provide nourishment for the forest dwellers. It’s all good.
In a perfect world they froze to death having pushed too far. Hiked way beyond their abilities thinking your poles added to their sneakers could get them further.
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